Almost Five Years

It's been a good night. My impromptu israeli couscous dinner was a success, the sun has been shining, and Stella and I had a good evening together while Tyler was out at his weekly illustration group gathering. Before Tyler left, he had guiltily said on his way out to just leave the dishes for him to do later or tomorrow.

But there I was washing the dishes, squinting out the west-facing window into the setting sun--and not just because we're battling ants. Tyler always does the dishes since I almost always cook, so I thought I could give him the night off. And all the sudden, up to my elbows in hot water and soap, I felt overwhelmed by how surrounded I was by signs of Tyler's love and kindness. Here I was, washing the knives I used for dinner that he had sharpened for me for Mother's Day. And then rinsing off the cutting board that was the other part of my present. While those may sound unromantic, they were perfect--practical but lovely, thoughtful for someone who loves cooking and often finds chopping a bunch of vegetables a perfect way to unwind.

Then there's the clothes I'm wearing. Guess who does the laundry every Monday while I'm at work?

And the snacks on the counter he bought so we'd have things to send in Stella's lunches as she heads off to Montessori, in case I get too busy to follow through on some of my more ambitious cooking plans.

And, beyond my squinting, there's the yard he mows.

And there's probably a thousand other little things that I don't necessarily even realize.

Maybe I'm just feeling sappy because our fifth anniversary is Friday.



I feel so lucky to have Tyler as my partner in life. So we're probably kind of boring these days. We're not the young newlyweds, living on Capitol Hill, heading out to meet friends more nights of the week than not. We're not the intrepid travellers, heading out to travel around the world. We're just your fairly typical, home-owning, child-rearing mid-30s people. And our marriage has definitely changed through all those transitions. I now better understand a line from the movie "Before Sunset" when a character says of his marriage, "I feel like I'm running a small nursery with someone I used to date." There are lots of logistics. And we're more tired and more distracted than ever. But I still love Tyler's company, the way he thinks and views the world. I love that he's taken a chance to run his own business, partially for more artistic fulfillment and partially because he really values his role as a father. I love that he keeps pushing us to still keep some of those parts of us that are travellers and urbanites. Basically, I just really love him.

Happy early anniversary, Tyler.




And to those of you readers who made your way through this possibly overpersonal entry and who were there celebrating our marriage with us five years ago--thanks for being there to witness that day and for supporting us in various ways these past few years.


P.S. Thanks to Timothy Aguero Photography for the great wedding photos!