Thursday, September 29, 2011

Back to Work! (Not that this hasn't been work....)

Well, it's arrived. My last day of my maternity leave. No, I'm not going back to work on on Friday. Rather, it's the last day Otto and I have home alone together before I go back to work on Monday. My maternity leave has felt of two parts: Monday-Thursday while Stella's at school and Tyler's at work, and Friday-Sunday when the whole family is home.

Kicking it with Otto-man

I feel bittersweet about the return to the work. In some ways, I dread finding the new new-normal. We have this routine down, with mornings getting Stella and Tyler out the door, time to nap as needed, and time to run errands and cook dinner before everyone else is home. Going back to work is definitely going to mix that up. And, of course, I'll miss being around Otto so much just as he's opening up more to the world and getting more fun.

But, to be truthful, part of me is also happy to get back to the adult Sarah. The one who can focus on a task for more than an hour at a time and gets to have a fulfilling professional life in addition to being a mom. Because I've been able to (and chosen to) exclusively breastfeed, Otto and I have been inseperable since his birth. In some ways, having some time alone beyond the one or two times I've made a 20 minute run to the grocery store will be welcome, too.

Part of the sadness probably is also due to the fact that I've enjoyed these early days with Otto more than I did the first time around. Partly because I think we're more experienced this time around. Partly Otto is probably just a bit of an easier baby. Partly because of the sunny days. And partly because we haven't had our life turned upside down. As I've mentioned before, with Stella around adding Otto to the mix hasn't given us carte blanche to mix things up. She still needs her usual routine, so it's been more a process of incorporating Otto into family life than creating a new life with kids.

And my own sadness can be tempered by the fact that I'm excited that Tyler (who will likely soon be the more frequent contributor) is going to be stay-at-home dad for the next few months. Tyler and I both took off the first three months with Stella, and he still watched her part-time when I went back to work. With Otto, he's been home some but working a contract gig the last six weeks or so, so he hasn't had nearly as much one-on-one time with him yet. And because Tyler is such a great dad, I'm excited for Otto to get to have so much time with him, too!

It's going to be an interesting week, for sure. Otto hasn't yet had a bottle, and I'm a little worried about how tired I'll get (Otto's been back to up 4+ times a night), but we'll forge ahead! Onward!


Emily said...

Best of luck going back to work! Sounds like a lot to balance, but I'm sure you'll be awesome and appreciate work after your small break and will really love coming home to your family after missing them all day! xoxo

Sarah said...

Thanks, Emily. The night before, and I'm feeling a little sad, but I know it will all work out!

Charity said...

So glad you've enjoyed your time home with Otto, and I'll be thinking of you this week as you make that transition back to work! Tyler is a wonderful father, and I'm sure he'll enjoy his one-on-one time with little Otto!